For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Most of the time I have a pretty good handle on the ups and downs that enter our lives. I’ve called the ambulance four times for Mark in the past 10 years. (Thankfully, not recently.) And when that happened, I put on my big girl panties and dealt with the crisis. Calm, cool, collected. I have had friends comment that I was so in control when making those necessary calls to family and friends.
But recently, another blow was leveled. I had awakened at 2 AM with this foreboding hanging over me. I hadn’t wanted to spend time thinking about something if it was not going happen, but then it did. The worst thing I could do was search google for answers instead of God’s Word. All it did was add to my fears. I prayed and read my devotions and Bible, looking for God to speak to me. But the peace was missing. I kept hanging on to the problem and possible outcome and scenarios. I fell apart at 4:30 AM and all I could say through my tears was, “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t do it anymore,” shaking my head to confirm my words, as I sobbed on Mark’s shoulder.
Tears spent, I got up and dried my eyes. There was no more sleeping for me so I opened my iPad to scroll down Facebook. My eyes landed on the picture posted at the top of the blog. A light bulb went on. For sure, I CAN’T. But JESUS CAN. He didn’t expect me to carry this burden by myself with my measly strength but was there to carry the burden and me as we walked the path forward. I don’t know if you have read the poem about the footsteps in the sand but this is exactly the comfort that I needed.
I look back over the paths I’ve traveled and see the pile of stones stacked up by the side of the road to show the times where God met me in my need. I’m still human but learning faster that I can’t fix it — only Jesus has that power. He’s the one to turn to when the way is bleak because He knows where to go and how to get there. And His plans for me are good.