So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:33 (NLT)
Do you ever feel deja vu in the middle of an argument with your dearly beloved? Are you walking on eggshells afraid to further inflame the situation? Are you tired of rehashing the same old thing and seeming to get no response or relief? I have been married a total of almost 29 years and thought that I had read every Christian book on marriage. However, last week I discovered a new one that I highly recommend, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needsby Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Eggerichs description of a typical argument, calling it the “Crazy Cycle,” is right on. But he goes further and explains how we can get out of it and move on to become a truly energized couple without all the craziness. The “aha” moment came for me as he explained that the cycle will be broken when I show respect for my husband. Most of us are very familiar with the idea of love in a marriage, but respect? Paul is very specific in his writing stating that the husband is to love and the wife is to respect. Why? Because God knows that He needs to remind us to do what is not natural for us to do. Men and women are so different—in fact, that is one of the subjects I want to discuss when I debrief with God in heaven. The author helps me to see through my pink sunglasses and hear with my pink hearing aids, that Mark wears blue, only blue. We don’t approach life the same way at all but who would want to be married to your clone? I have discovered that a simple change of attitude and approach works wonders in my marriage. Let me know if you have any thoughts.